Auster's protagonists often go through a process that reduces their support structure to an absolute minimum: They sever all contact with family and friends, go hungry and lose or give away all their belongings. Out of this approximation of their nil they either acquire new strength to reconnect with the world or they fail and disappear for good.
| “ | But in the end, he manages to resolve the question for himself - more or less. He finally comes to accept his own life, to understand that no matter how bewitched and haunted he is, he has to accept reality as it is, to tolerate the presence of ambiguity within himself. | ” |
Someone shared their idea: "I have this crazy idea… imagine if the world worked to care about each other and our first priority was helping others."
~*~*~*~
Yes, very crazy indeed to once in Your life think first about another, instead of Yourself (and Your benefits). (A bit ironically said).
But Your crazy idea is something that I’ve been thinking about a lot myself. Especially the first sentence - the whole world, every single person, not just companies and organisations. Many individuals (as well as organisations) actually do this sort of thing, but out those, who really do care and are unegoistic, often many go unnoticed and are forgotten in life. Not all get positive attention and a kind word of praise. Is it even needed, You ask? Can do without. Sure. Those kind of people do not do “nice things” because their priority is to get kind words or to be praised, but because they get their praise in the moment they see from the persons eyes, the laughter they hear or something else.
But wouldn’t it be fair and kind to also raise them up, as a positive example?
How would it make a difference, if we stepped out of the world that every day tries to lead us on some path, if we stopped, even if for a bit, thought about it, and started to live and act out of love for life, others and ourselves (unegoistically). How about that?
~*~*~*~I cannot go with all of this and to go along with the games of self-pity, which is played. I tend to be honest even in a situation, when maybe it is hoped to be heard sweet, regretting or blame taking words. I cannot – because I have to be honest with myself and when I say something, I will say, how I mean it (or how I think about it). This is both my virtue but also my doom. But there is nothing to do about it, because I can’t do it in any other way… I’ll explain:
I am hurting inside, because I know, that I cannot always help, because I cannot make a person to see things throught my perspective (or through my eyes), if they do not have a clue, a contact with, or knowledge about this perspectives essence, sincerety/genuity, existance. Nor belief in it. I am sad that there are so many hardships and pain in the world, which is brought upon us and which we bring upon us, ourselves. At times, the pain, that we have had to know about, during this life, will blind our senses and mind and we will become to observe life through a certain prism, at the same time being bittered in the heart, in pain, and believing that to the addition of the pain we are feeling we are neither being undersood.
If the waves of life have us tangled in them, throwing us from one spot to another, it is reasonable to see, that it is hard to see a possibility, that at some point the water may change from rapid water flowing to controlled, smooth flowing. And in this desparate forth-and-back thrash (if at the moment, one would be in it) it would be hard to believe and hope, that such a thing might happen.
Although one thing is clear. To change life for the better, building walls around us from the bitterness – because it will create only an illusion of being protected, in reality we are in an ongoing track in which we cannot find the way out from – neither to place blame on others on or the hardships that are sent on our way won’t help us.
I understand, that all of us have a different start (different family, country, city, possibilities – both emotional and material), the beginning of life, but it is not in the matter of how You begin, but how You live Your life, in which way will You use the possibility (to live). (A person had a great saying: IT IS NOT IMPORTANT, HOW YOU START, IT’S HOW YOU FINISH.) There are possibilities, different ways to approach life (to think about life), but I would surface five of all of those: we could either (1) whine about everything and everyone and to bewail on our sad destiny, to either (2) whine and bewail, but at one moment to decide that, enough, I deserve a beautiful life aswell, (3) not to whine nor bewail, but to live everything inwards and be in Your so called bubble, (4) to live everything inwards, but at some point to be able to live outwards, although not blaming others/life, (5) just to vegetate, stubbornly to be only in Your own way (,without seeing, that in life, everybody has things to learn).
We all have our hardships of life, but it would be silly to start comparing them between us – it would lead us to nothing, because there are million aspects that affect us, and also the ways, how we think about/capture them. To compare Your life to anothers lif in the means of „better/worse“ is pointless. Everyone has their strenghts and weaknesses (in the past, present and the future). At the same time, what to one seems as a weakness, to another can be a strenght. It depends on the personality, attitude towards life and choices.
For me, a strenght is to be honest towards Yourself. I like the sentence: Be honest with Yourself, only then can You be honest with others. What does this sentence consist of? What is percieved to be honesty? Not lying? Yes.
What would You say to a person, who asks for Your opinion about their clothing. Have in mind a thought, that in this concrete case You do not like this clothing (or that You would not wear it Yourself).
Would You say it out straight – ’it doesn’t suit You’ or that ’it is ugly’, or something like ’I wouldn’t wear it, but this is Your choice/it suits You.’
Do You swirl or lie and say that ’yes, it is beautiful’ although You do not mean it?
Another point of view is to apprehend a juncture that the taste of clothing is such an individual thing, that depends on a persons personality and their style (but the lifestyle is also this way). If we do not fancy something, doesn’t mean that it is ugly or wrong. If we wouldn’t wear it, doesn’t mean that it would not suit the other person. We have to depart from the plan of EGO (in other words to always originate from Your own perspective) and to see things from a bigger plan (taking in concideration many circumstances/aspects, especially the TRUTH). What is the truth? That the piece of clothing is ugly, or that we are so egoistic that we believe that our views/beliefs are the supreme? Or do we have to originate by what is told by fashion, because it is the bible? Why do we take away a possibility to choose and to feel good with things (and thoughts or views) from other person, which for them are beautiful, but which we do not comprehend? (Well, there are exceptions – if it would have to do with a murderer, I wouldn’t approve their lifestyle and choices – BUT this is another story). But this way of forcing our beliefs onto another person is exactly doing that. And not only in clothing do we do this… to the addition to all of it, we do not understant others and their lives at all, because we are so used to originating from ourselves and our needs/thoughts and taking them in count as etalons. If so, then why would we ever need other people? Why do we need love? We could do fine on our own in this life, if there was not another soul in this world but us. Or could we do fine? In the end, we have to understand, that beside us, there are others in the world aswell… and that we actually NEED OTHERS beside us. Wether You admit it to Yourself or not, this is true.
If we are not honest with ourselves, we cannot be honest with others. If we already lie to ourselves, how can we be truthful to others? How could other people trust and believe in us, if we constantly decieve ourselves? We constantly eat above our needs and tell ourselves, that we have the cravings for sweetness and that we should be able to feed it, although it is stress-eating that we’re doing. We starve ourselves, because we want to be beautiful and sight-catching, although in fact it is the inner secureness that we are lacking (and the lack of being in peace with oneself). We don’t listen to our bodies and we cannot accept ourselves the way we are – we are ashamed of ourselves. But why? There is no reason. We lie white lies to people, believing that this would be better, because in this way we won’t hurt others and we will ’protect them’ from the „hurtful“ truth, although in fact we are too cowardly, to say what we should or would want to say. Etc, etc…
We can’t assume, that the peace, resolvement, the sense of security and love towards both oneself and others will enter in us, if we constantly try to push it away from ourselves from the behaviors that come from our weaknesses. Still, if we finally realise, that to live a life that is good, that offers something to the soul, is healthy and productive, it is not neccecary to try (at times in falsification) to be liked by others, or by ourselves, or at all times to fight against the world/others, and to prove oneself (although we actually have to do this. But not out of hatred or resentment, but out of joy to be able to be who You are), then we will end living in a bubble and take a step among people.
Too bad that the world today and the society constantly try to use our weaknesses (also in the goal of making money from it). And at times there is a feeling, that to survive (both physically and mentally) we would have to be amazingly strong and resolved, not to give up. Even in the most extreme circumstances (again – both physically and mentally).
All of You, who at this time are in the rapid flows – go with the flow and let the current guide You, for a change. Look at the life through the eyes of a sincere and wondering baby, figuratively speaking, if You are able to. Because fighting against the current, to thrash around in panic and flinging our arms, instead of the belief of the fact that it is helping, You will only do harm to Yourself.
GO WITH THE RAPID FLOW: try to get used to a new thought, to let Yourself go with the flow, to give up Your EGO and the obsessions that come from it. Pretty soon You will discover that the rapid water is changing more and more calm/peaceful and flowing. Then maybe You will be able to be thankful, that You are alive, that You succumbed, You gave free hands, and in a way You gave up (but only in a positive way – You gave up fighting against life), but it led You out of a dangerous position – and You came out alive, healthy, peaceful, determined and joyous(or happy). The rapidness will pass. But if we will stay forever to thrash, to flounder, we won’t ever get to a more peaceful zone.
I hope that we will be able to relate to both others and ourselves in the same respect and HONESTY.
A hug to the one, that needs it.
All best,
L.
PS! What do You think, what would happen, when the concept of money, borders (between countries) and faith was lost…
I believe that if we start to be open to life, the miracles will appear, become available (because we simply notice).
I want to share a story that happened with me. It is about seeing what only You want to see, being stubborn in our own ways, and also not being open to different things that may happan to us.
For some reason me and my schoolfriend (when we were in about 6.-7. grade) decided to do some ‘crazy spontaneous thing’ for random/strange people on the street to lighten up their moods. I don’t remember if it was the Valentines day or if it was any other ordinary day, but I remember it was a very impulsive thought that just popped in our heads.
We decided to buy about a dozen roses and then we would roam about the Old Town of Tallinn, Estonia and we would give those roses to people that (in our minds & hearts) seemed to need a little bit of joy. I remember that with a lot of people I saw a spark in their eyes that let me believe - mission accomplished. But there was one, that didn’t - at all.
We were taking different routes in small and bigger streets, quieter courts of some old houses. There was this end to a street where there would be about 100 steps going upwards, and in the middle, there was a young man, a musician playing guitar. We went up the stairs, stopped and listened to him for a while. He looked stylish, with black pants, a lighter blouse, and an elegant jacket. While he played, at times he would close his eyes, and when he opened them, we would get a glimpse of what his soul was about. There seemed to be a sad tone about him, as he played. As he ended the song, we were stunned by his music, thankful of that moment (unconciously) we immidiately decided spontaneously that this rose would be our way of saying thanks for that music he provided for to listen to.
We, at that moment, of course, were truly naive - because he obviously was playing for money. As it happened, when the rose was reached towards him, he accepted it, and commented: “What am I supposed to do with it now?” and stared at us with a rather cold look. We didn’t know what to say. Possibly we could of explained that we did it to bring him joy, of some sort, but I am not sure if we did that since it was a long time ago. And it’s not even important, if we did. Because obviously he was looking to recieve money. (I don’t remember if we gave him some or not though)
~*~*~*~
The moral, though, of this story can be translated in multiple ways. And maybe You can also help me with it.
1. It’s no point trying to force/make someone to think the way You are thinking. (They simply may not be on the same page with You/they may see the world differently, or simply they may be in another place in their life right now.)
2. Never expect that people will always react the way You would like them to react.
3. If You are concentrating on only one certain thing, You will likely to become blind of the other options/experiences life may offer You.
4. We can’t look at the world from only one point of view.
5. When life gives You lemons, make lemonade.
6. When You grow walls around You, it’s hard to notice the simple beauty of life.
7. Even if we don’t always get what we wanted at the first place, what we do get may … sometimes be more likely what we actually need. (Love)
8. Not all good intentions are understood the way they were meant.
9. Be open to life.
In life, we all have been stubborn like that, in our own ways. But if we trust more, become more lively and ‘flowing’, open to life, I believe it’s possible to change a lot in this area. Maybe some of You find more morals of this story, or thoughts, to add - You are more than welcome to share Your thoughts here. And in fact I will expect that You will do that.
That encounter didn’t really make me do less impulsive things, but I am sure that it made me less naive.
This sentence is very possible to misinterpret.
We all expect people to ‘love life, yourself and others’ and ‘grow’, ‘be alive’ etc/etc. and we discuss how to get there in this blog a lot. I guess that makes us fools? No. We are trying to grow and share the possibility with others.
I guess this sentence is offering a choice of having the possibilities open, not narrowing it down to what we believe is right. But to have choices (and possibly the ability to manouver around them and find the best for ourself).
We shouldn’t tell others how to be or what to do because we live by our standards. Other people have their own standards and that is ok. It is not a good idea to start scaling the standards. None is better than the other. We just have it different. But discussing ideas, or possibilities of different standards or ways is ok. “Do this, do that, then You will get this (or that)” is definitely a question mark. Because when I do this, I may get that. But when other people does this, they may get another thing. Not sure if You follow… but what I’m saying, there isn’t one textbook answer. And in life, situations are so variable that every situation needs a fresh perception. We cannot fall only in categories but we have to have different perspectives in mind.
Leaving things open and having things to choose from is one big step to freedom of mind, heart and life. Thats one thing we all need.
~*~*~*~I ask You following:
What is the reason behind telling the truth?
What is the reason behind what we need to tell another person?
And finally: what is our heart doing when we need to tell another person something?
Is it a trivial matter? Is it something serious? Is it about our life, about theirs? Is it to spread our ideas or share a different point of view? Is it to find out something new or confront a person? There is a different answer in a different situations.
~*~*~*~
On the other matter.
When we say ‘This dress looks awful’, we are passing on judgement depending on our personal perspective, choices and taste. Our taste isn’t someone elses taste. And because (IF) we understand it, we will not speak ‘the truth’ because we simply understand that it’s just our point of view and not a “RULE”. In other words. It is our so called truth. We understand that these things are deeply individual and speak of a certain person. Estonian presidents wife Evelin Ilves is constantly critizised about the way she dresses, because to the critiques it is always WRONG. Of course, behind that is to find publicity and fame and a reason to critizise. That is blind way of mind, another attempt to “control” and to undermind someone. To give the “supreme”, the “bestest” opinion. In my eyes it is degrading the person who is saying it, because they do not understand that life is not about those things (indeed). So telling someone that kind of “TRUTH” (that they look awful or the dress is ugly) is not telling the truth, but actually either being untactful or unrespective of another person, denying their right to their opinion, choices and thoughts.
In other words - not telling someone that their dress is awful and keeping quiet about it is not being untruthful. Neither is telling someone who in our opinion (even if we have it) isn’t wearing a “nice” dress that she is wearing a nice dress a lie, because to that person it is a nice dress. And just because we might not wear it does not mean that they are less worthy or untasteful or in need to be compared with us at all times.
But if we understand it, then we won’t even think that way, because we understand that these things are individual.
And so are our choices in life, our personalities, our lives and the roads we’ve taken, the experiences we’ve got.
~*~*~*~
There is no point in telling lies when we feel we should tell the truth.
~*~*~*~
There is no point in telling lies when we know that to save our dignity, our life, our persona and love for other(s) or ourselves the lie (that we might tell) can destruct us. Or make us feel sorry for not being able to say those words (as last weeks quote: important words need to be said.).
~*~*~*~
There is no need to please others by telling lies that they might like instead of telling the truth that takes that person to a new understanding or state.
~*~*~*~
Unfortunately often You cannot say the truth at all times, because You understand that the other person is not ready to hear the truth. (I’ve seen it happen, that when You pick a “RIGHT moment” then a person accepts what You are saying to them, instead of another moment when You are doing the same things, maybe even saying the same words out and be either rejected, not listened to, laughed at or just main numbness and no answer.)
And unfortunately not always can we pick the right time.
~*~*~*~
I know this much is true.
I have a message from the other side that I need to share with You.
May it bring You release:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s2lazFWT2
Tears In Heaven
by Eric Clapton and Will Jennings
Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same
If I saw you in heaven?
I must be strong
And carry on,
‘Cause I know I don’t belong
Here in heaven.
Would you hold my hand
If I saw you in heaven?
Would you help me stand
If I saw you in heaven?
I’ll find my way
Through night and day,
‘Cause I know I just can’t stay
Here in heaven.
Time can bring you down,
Time can bend your knees.
Time can break your heart,
Have you begging please, begging please.
Beyond the door,
There’s peace I’m sure,
And I know there’ll be no more
Tears in heaven.
Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same
If I saw you in heaven?
I must be strong
And carry on,
‘Cause I know I don’t belong
Here in heaven.
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