anaby

Ta valis ise endale selle teekonna, selle simulatsiooni. Ta läks koos väikse grupi kaaslastega teele. Autoga. Teel tuli vastu tanke sõduritega, mänguasju, kes näisid headena, kuid kelle varjus oli peidus kurjust. Nad üritasid elus näida, kuid seda nad olid vaid väliselt. Tegelikult olid nad kõik nukud. Vastu tuli ka lihtsalt mööblit, mis ei liikunud paigast, ei edasi, tagasi - lihtsalt seisis. Ainult et kui neid lükata, siis nad aeglaselt, aeglaselt hakkasid ümber lükkuma... lõpuks krahhina kokku vajudes. Jällegi - vaikuses, muutumatuses.

Tema peamine soov oli leida kulda. Puhast kulda. Ta ei uskunud, et see juhtub lihtsalt ukse lahti tõmbamisega. Nii lihtsalt ei juhtu siin ilmas midagi - kõige eest tuleb ju võidelda ja sõdida, kõige nimel, mida usud. Ta läks üle tankide, üle sõdurite, lükkaski ümber mööblit ja möödus tuimadest mänguasjadest, kes üritasid elus näida. Tema ei üritanud midagi - ta oli, liikus. Edasi, ainult edasi, ei sammukestki tagasi.

Üllatus oli see, talle endale, et ta saigi teekonnaga hakkama - ta läks läbi tuule ja tormi, ta ronis mägedes, ta jõudis tippu. Tipp on vaid metafoor. Lõpus jõudis ta iidse ukseni. Ukse ees seisis vana naine, kes küsis: "Ja mida SINA soovid," teeseldud heatahtlikkusega. Tundus, et hinges soovis ta olla avatud ja hea, kuid päris lõpuni ei suutnud ta seda kunagi - päris lõpuni vaba olla. Ta oli kammitsetud endale valitud rollist - olla NÕID selle kõige algsemas tähenduses. Kuri. Nagu muinasjuttudes.

Mees ei öelnud midagi, vaid lihtsalt läks ja tegi ukse lahti. Kohe kui uks oli avatud, leidis tema seltskonnast üks naine, et puutükikese, mida ta mingil seletamatul põhjusel kogu teekonna jooksul käes hoidnud oli,  ühele küljele oli peale tekkinud kiht kulda. Naine keerutas ja imetles seda, just nagu arutledes iseendaga. Kõik seisid hetkeks imestatuna, isegi nõid, kes enne ei uskunud, et mees selle ukse tagant üldse midagi leida võiks. Seekord näis ta esimest korda uskuvat - jah, kõik ongi (tõepoolest) võimalik.

Võibolla alati ehk mitte sellisel kujul, nagu algul eeldame.

Mees ei osanud midagi väga arvata. Vähemalt väliselt küll ei paistnud, et temaga midagi toimuks - ta lihtsalt... oli. Aga ta teadis, et soovid täituvad. Nad kallistasid.

PS! Tundus, et naine, kes puutükikest hoidis, oli leiu üle vaat et veel õnnelikum kui mees ise. Väliselt. Temas olevad tunded võimendusid ja voolasid temast rõõmuna välja nagu vesi. Tundus, et iga asi juhtub põhjusega.

~*~*~*~

He himself picked this journey for him, this simulation. He went on his way with a small group of companions. With a car. On the way, there were tanks with soldiers, toys, who seemed good-willed, but in whom there was evil, hidden inside. They tried to look alive, but they were so only externally. In reality they were all simply dolls. On their way there were just plain furniture, which did not move at all, not further, not backwards - just stood there. Only then, if they were pushed, then slowly, slowly, they started to fall over... and finally collapsing down. Again - in silence, unchangeable.

 His main wish was to find gold. Pure gold. He didn't believe it would happen as easily as just pulling a door open. Nothing in this world happens that easily - everything must be fought for and to battle with, for everything you believe in.He went over tanks, over soldiers, he pushed over furniture and passed by the dull toys, who tried to look alive. He didn't try to be anything - he just was, he moved. Forward, only forward, not a step back.

It was a surprise, for himself, that he made the journey - he went throught the wind and storm, he climbed the mountains, he made it to the top. The top is just a metaphor. In the end there was an ancient door. There was an old woman in front of the door who asked: "And what do YOU want," with pretended benevolence. It seemed as if she wished to be open and good in her soul, but couldn't completely become it - to be completely free. She was shackled in the role that she chose for herself - to be a WITCH in its indigenous meaning. Evil. Just like in fairytales.

The man did not say anything, he just went and opened the door. Immidiately when the door was opened, a woman from his company found that a piece of wood, for some unexplained cause, which she had carried around the whole journey, had formed a layer of gold on it. The woman turned it and admired it, just as having a discuss with herself. Everyone were standing in amazement for a moment, even the witch, who before did not believe, that the man would find anything behind that door. This time she, for the first time, seemed to believe - yes, everything (truly) is possible.

Maybe not always in the form as we assume at first.

The man did not know what to think of it. Externally there didn't seem anything happening to him - he just... was. But he knew that dreams come true. They hugged.

PS! The woman who held the piece of wood seemed to be even more so happy than the man himself. Externally. The feelings inside her amplified and flowed out of her as joy, just like water. It seemed that everything happens for a reason.